Monday Morning Moron: Benny Hinn

Today's Monday Morning Morning is brought to you by Benny Hinn

Gotta have faith!

Today's MMM has certain significance.  Before I give him the infamous title of Monday Morning Moron, I have to tell you my personal story about Benny Hinn.

When I was about 10 years old, my parents were planning a trip to a a very well known amusement park. This place is a dream come true for a kid. Being that my dad was cheaper than the dad in "Everybody Hates Chris"; we were only allowed to attend once every one or two years. Now it was finally our year to go.

Until one faithful day. It was a few weeks before our trip. My dad was sitting in his chair in my parents room. They both called me in to watch a minister on TV. The man looked arab, was wearing a white suit and had seemingly immovable graying hair. He was on television singing a song (that if memory serves me correct) titled "He Touched Me". I was 10, so you could still consider me devoutly Christian to the point where I could quote scripture with the best of them. This man also did something that I had never seen before. This thing is something that I thought only Jesus and a few other prophets in the bible could achieve. Healing the sick with his hands! Was it true? Was this man truly healing the sick on television? I was star struck. If this man was for real, then of course he was the greatest man since Christ.

My father asked me did I like him. Like him? No I loved him. Did I want to go see him? Of course! This was the man who could actually convert everyone into devout Pentecostal Christians. Hallelujah. Then it was decided right then and there. Instead of going to the amusement park, we were going on a crusade.

"No! Can't we go to both? It’s just church. That's always free. What is a Crusade anyway?" I would say to my parents. They explained that a Crusade was a place for Christians to travel around the world for the celebration of The Trinity. I really wished my parents would have told me what THE Crusades really where. I probably would have not been puzzled when I saw The Holy Wars instead of the Holy Ghost. I digress.

  With that thrown into my face, how could I say no? In my mind,  rejection was a sure fire way to go to hell. There was no way I was going to burn for eternity for a bunch of water slides. Plus, I just knew that Jesus was somewhere invisibly flying around  giving people the Almighty's "good vibrations". Surely this would help me to get to heaven as well. Screw roller coasters. I was already there.

 The first  time I ever saw Benny Hinn  was after a long bus ride to Cincinnati. After getting something  to eat, we opted to not attend the Friday Night service, but would surely attend the two on Saturday and conclude with the traditional Sunday service. What was equally amazing was seeing the organizer of the event return to the hotel after the Friday Worship. Let's call her "Della". What was so amazing about Della? She was walking. Prior to to that night, Della was in a wheelchair. I could not wait until we went. I think my foot was hurting just a little bit. Maybe God could heal that!

Prior to that day, two thousand seemed like a very large number for people to gather at one place to hear about God. That was Grandma's church. That all changed when I was staring at about 16,000 Christians. After an endless array of songs, Benny came out like a rock star and began singing. After introducing his posse and a little preaching, came the moment we were all waiting for. 

Hinn begins his hypnotism miracles by telling everyone to stand up. Well, not everyone. See there are hundreds of people who are in wheelchairs, walkers, leg braces, etc. They get the "good seats" (no pun intended). They try to get the sickest people in their own section. After people are out of their seats, you hear the command,  "Give God a mighty applause!" Then (behind very soft music) begins whispering over the microphone. It's very similar to a child's lullaby. He is talking very low...along with the music... informing the crowd of people being healed. He includes names and cured diseases. He instructs them to come to the stage. Still talking very low.. then BAM! A loud "Jesus!" comes out of his mouth with the ferocity of a warriors battle cry. People who were once standing in the arena, are now literally falling down in their seats. Then there is the stage shows. They are more like "staged shows". Due to my lack of writing ability, I will now post a link to the stage Holy Ghost section (courtesy of the good folks at Youtube.com). Please watch this. I will wait. 

Benny Hinn Link

See what I mean? It is very difficult to describe into words.

  

My biggest worry came when he blew into the crowd later that night. He did this "mass miracle" by section. Was I going to receive the Holy Spirit and fall back into my seats like the rest of the flock? Why was I so worried? Did I have lack of faith? "I gotta have faith", I thought as the non existent wind came in my direction. Then when everyone else fell.. so did I. I did not feel anything. But that did not stop me. I sincerely convinced myself that I felt something. I was in a different section from my mother and father. When they inquired about my experience, I let them know that I "received the spirit" when Pastor Hinn blew into the crowd. I obviously omitted the part that showed that I was a fucking liar. 

I cannot say that I lost my religion after  that Crusade. On the contrary. I actually tried to become more faithful. I read much of the bible, began asking tough theological questions, and started praying like a monk. I was even more committed to figuring out  This was because I felt so guilty about lying. All of those people had to be healed when they were throwing their walkers off the stage. The Holy Ghost was "in the building" that night. Everyone did really fall to the floor with genuine sincerity. Right?

Wrong. After years of research, skepticism, and critical thinking I discovered that it was all a HUGE bullshit scam. Benny Hinn was praying on the weak minded. I never realized that all Sister Della told us before the crusade is that she had "two slipped discs" and that she was tipping the scales of 300 pounds.  There are such things as misdiagnoses, laziness (due to extreme obesity) phantom pains, and plain old dishonesty. We did not know Sister Della prior to the crusades. She could be lying like I was in the Cincinnati crusade. For an alternative explanation please click here for an HBO America Undercover documentary concerning these claims. I am compelled to agree with the film makers of "A Question of Miracles". 

People want to believe so bad. They will believe anything that will make them feel better. If I could convince people to do any number of unproven, unreliable, or ludicrous things, not only will they do it, they will promote. People will stand by anything. It is the same reason why young men and young women are blowing themselves up in the name of (usually) Allah! It is the fanaticism. The degrees of  fanaticism vary widely, but nevertheless. I would place much of this behavior in that category. One of my favorite websites is whatstheharm.net. Here is a portion of their Mission Statement:

We also wish to call attention to the types of misinformation which have caused this sort of harm. On the topics page you will see a number of popular topics that that are being promoted via misinformation. Many of them have no basis in truth at all. A few are based in reality, but veer off into troublesome areas. We all need to think more critically about these topics, and take great care when we encounter them.

And this my friends, is where it gets heavy.


In August 1998, my father revealed to me that he had terminal cancer. Multiple Myeloma is the specific type of cancer to be exact. Later that week, I also found out that he was diagnosed in 1993. At that time, the doctors gave him five years to live. My mother was of the belief that doctors don't know everything/anything. Only when he surpassed five years, was I even told of his illness. He died June 27,1998 from complications from some experimental treatment. 

Only recently (after seeing Mr. Hinn in the news) did I connect the dots. I never put it together. Probably because at the time I was unaware. We were going to see Benny Hinn because he was a faith healer. My dad never used profanity. He never did drugs or smoked. Surely God would shine a light on him. So we traveled to different places listening to his sermons and watching him "heal" the sick and "cure" diseases like AIDS. Yes I did hear him say that AIDS was being cured by the hand of God. 


A reoccurring conclusion in whatstheharm.net is the unmentioned effects of believing bullshit. My father and I never really got along.  I do not mince my words when I call him a selfish, egotistical, rude, prick. That is, until he got sick. He had so much knowledge and wisdom about so much. I never got to get even a small portion of what he new. He was great with his hands. The man could probably build a house from scratch. While I - on the other hand - can't put a door up without it looking like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. People with nonsense, bullshit, supernatural, or magical claims cause a lot of harm. Had he dealt with the disease (instead of thinking God would heal it), he still would have died. It was terminal. That's a death sentence. I know that. However, we could have spent his best and final days getting along much earlier. I had to wait until he was a paraplegic until I could spend some quality time with him. 


So in conclusion, this is personal. The absurdity of Christianity (specifically Benny Hinn and his type) took away some important years that a father has to spend with his son. The erroneous claims, lies, the healing are all just smoke and fucking mirrors. It is deisgned to put money in Benny Hinn's pockets. That's clear.


So clear, that I didn't even want to attack him for it. If people in Orlando are homeless and Benny Hinn is living in a $8 million home, so be it. Those assholes gave their hard earned money to that fucking magician. That's their business. I don't even care about his divorce and alleged affair. That is the least of my issues with this man. I don't care about his past. He is fucking up the present enough. Not saying that it's nothing there. But that's another story.


When you try to use faith healing like it's an actual proven method to heal the sick, that's when you immediately become the very definition of con-artist. He is a predator. A manipulator of the highest order. He prays on the weak minded. Benny Hinn not only takes your money. He takes away valuable time that could be better spent on modern medicine. More importantly, better spent on time with loved ones. 


It's so many words to describe a person like this. I don't believe that he has less than average intelligence. He is very smart, calculated, and persuasive to his bullshit. I think he is a liar and a cheat. Fuck you Benny Hinn. 


However, for the sake of uniformity, Mr.  Toufik Benedictus "Benny" Hinn, you are 
The Monday Morning Moron.




Have a Happy Labor Day!


DSD