MMM: Pat Robertson

Today's Article is brought to you by:

Monday Morning Moron #1: Pat Robertson

He speaks to God, so we don't have to.

It is week two people. That means a bigger and badder Dark Skin Disbeliever. Well maybe not big. Come to think of it, I really am not bad at all. The point is, I have a better schedule and categories for my articles. That reduces time for me and will give all the readers out there a day that they can expect new articles. I hope you enjoy, because I am so willing to cater to everyone out there that I am willing to change it all up. Let's begin.


Today is the defendant, Pat Robertson. Here are the charges.

High Crimes Against Intelligence

• Bible Beating
• Lying
• Hateful Rhetoric
• False Prophecies
• &More

  

Pat Robertson deserves the title of Monday Morning Moron. He is always  creating headlines for himself with the most idiotic and controversial statements of the past 30 years. He has done nothing to further the human race and is a throwback to the older generation of ministers that spread hate, lies, mistrust, and misinformation to the masses of sheep that believe he is an agent of God.

Reason #1: His Background

Let's just start off with the name. Marion Gordon Robertson is this guys name. He thought his name - the one his parents gave him - to be "effeminate". So he chose to go by his childhood nickname "Pat". Him not being able to go by his given name cause it sounds all queery kinda shows why he is so hateful towards the homosexuals. It wasn't an issue for Marion Barry. Bad example. Moving on.

That's not all folks. Here is where it gets interesting. His real background. His family. Specifically, his father. The man who was young Pat's authority figure. The man who helped to guide his moral compass in the righteouss direction. Ladies and germs, I give you, Senator Absalom Willis Robertson.

Father Robertson was a Democrat. I don't mean like this guy, this guy, or these guys. He was more like this guy. Dixiecrat is the correct name for these guys. Democrat + Mason Dixon Line = Dixiecrat. If you are an Atheist like me, you know there is nothing like a Southern White Guy bigotry. I said I wasn't going to make this a racial blog, but it's important to show where Pat comes from. Please consider Daddy Absalom's signing of the Southern Manifesto. Being a black man from black city,  where the need for education in black schools is still needed, there is no way this guy could have thought that schools in Virginia were doing okay IN THE FIFTIES. Back to Pat.

Even his military service record in the Marines is probably all just more bs. He claimed to have served in the Korean War during Punchbowl and Heartbreak Ridge. However a Senator McCloskey claimed that Pat was in Japan around that time serving as a Liquor Officer. I have been in the service and know plenty of "killers" like Pat. I can't wait until one of them runs for president claiming to be a Ranger or some other lie to boost their ego, ratings, respectability, and profits. FYI most of us never even come close to seeing combat.


Yada yada yada, turns out he was lying about his military service, owning a shady Diamond mine in Africa...


Which brings us to The 700 Club. Alan Dara Moghaddam, creator of the Facebook page "I F*cking HATE the 700 Club" said it best:

The 700 Club is a radical conservative front that hides behind the permise of being a "christian" voice in a God-less liberal media. They aren't like your typical crazy Republicans, they actually believe the poop that they say. Fear them, they are the most pure of evil.

Reason #2 His predictions

These are some of the following predictions That Pastor Pat has made. I think these are so absurd and outlandish that they can stand on their own. No commentary needed.

• Robertson then conveyed to the staff an ominous message for 1980. The Lord had proclaimed: "It will be a year of sorrow and bloodshed that will have no end soon, for the world is being torn apart, and my kingdom shall rise from the ruins of it."

• Robertson interpreted the message to mean he would win. On the campaign trail in February 1988, he told supporters: "This is where God wanted me to be. . . . Here I am in New Hampshire, before a major primary. I assure you that I am going to be the next president of the United States." Source

• It reports he "predicted that Russia would invade Israel in 1982 and that there would be a worldwide economic collapse in 1985." And it says he "predicted that U.S. Sen. Jay Rockefeller would be elected president in 1996." Source

• On the May 17 edition of the Christian Broadcasting Network show, Robertson said, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have felt strongly that the coasts are going to be lashed by vicious hurricanes this year. Also, there may well be something as bad as a tsunami up in the Pacific Northwest." Source

• In 1980, Robertson predicted the start of World War III, telling his audience that God said the year would be full of "sorrow and bloodshed that will have no end soon, for the world is being torn apart, and my kingdom shall rise from the ruins of it." He also prophecied in the same year that the Soviet Union would invade the Middle East to seize its oil reserves. Source

You would think this guy would figure that on the calls between him and God, there was some kind of bad reception. I blame the Crank Yankers.

But here's more.

• In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in “mass killing” late in 2007. Source

• Robertson said God also declared, "The steps taken will lead to a dramatic increase in the power of government. The people will welcome socialism in order to relieve their pain. Nothing will stand in the way of a plan by Obama to restructure the economy in the same fashion as the New Deal in the '30s." Source

There are so many more.

Okay that thing I said about not making any commentary. I lied. This guy is a liar. That's definite. He claims to speak to the lord on occasion. That's crazy because there is no God. Even if there was a God, why would he talk to Pat Robertson? Furthermore why would God just lie to him about the future?

Reason #3 His statements

  

Christianity has a lot of judgment from Genesis to Revelation. I would argue that The Bible is full of evil and Christians have done much more evil than just about anyone in the history of the earth. Forget that though. Maybe that was just because Christianity in its infancy. A young, tough, martyr-loving band of misfits ready to spread the good word of Jesus Christ. Of course they had to be a little nasty. THEY WERE PERSECUTED! All is forgiven now. They would never commit any of the acts that they did years ago. The leaders of Christian churches do not treat others with hate, scorn, ridicule, intolerance, violence or ignorance. Or do they just keep letting the bodies hit the floor. If you guessed the latter argument, you are CORRECT sir or ma'am. Look below.

• On January 14, 1991, on The 700 Club, Pat Robertson attacked a number of Protestant denominations when he declared: "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist."

• Many of Robertson's views mirror those of fellow evangelical pastor/activist Jerry Falwell, who made frequent appearances on The 700 Club. He agreed with Falwell when Falwell stated that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were caused by "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People For the American Way."

•  The lead story on the January 5, 2006, edition of The 700 Club was Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's hospitalization for a severe stroke. After the story, Robertson said that Sharon's illness was possibly retribution from God for his recent drive to give more land to the Palestinians. He also claimed former prime minister Yitzhak Rabin's 1995 assassination may have occurred for the same reason.

•  Robertson has repeatedly claimed that Barry Lynn has stated that fire departments cannot put out fires in churches because it would be a violation of separation of church and state. Lynn, progressive organizations like Media Matters for America[23] and conservative groups such as Focus on the Family have all contested Robertson's statements.

• On the August 22, 2005 broadcast of The 700 Club, Robertson said of Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez:

I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.

• On the January 13, 2010 broadcast of The 700 Club, Robertson blamed the Haitians for making a deal with the Devil during their 1791 slave rebellion, resulting in the Haitian Earthquake of January 12, 2010 and other misfortunes. He told viewers of his Christian Broadcasting Network:

"... something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it, they were under the heel of the French, uh, you know, Napoleon the third and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the devil, they said, we will serve you, if you get us free from the French, true story. And so the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free, and ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor."

Source

 

Congratulations Mr. Robertson. You are the first Monday Morning Moron!

So as you can see, Pat Robertson is a present day ass. He uses Christianity in a way that even Christians should find appalling. His predictions are laughable. The statements he has made about everything from 9/11 to Katrina are reprehensible. If you compare his opinions of world affairs side by side with those of Al queda (with Christian references removed, could you really tell the difference?

I hope you are proud of yourself, because ironically I am ecstatic. Your lies, more lies, false prophecies, and large following are further proof that there is no God. The Atheist cause will continue because of your efforts.

That is why my friends Pat Robertson is the Monday Morning Moron. Thankfully, he is years old and probably won't live long enough to drag more people into a meaningless existence of bible bs, pretend prophecies, and retarded rhetoric. On a rating scale, some might give him 5 Stars. I give him 700 Clubs..to the face.

Join us in two days for What they really believe Wednesdays: Jehovah Witnesses.