Wednesday's "What They Really Believe": Agnosticism

Today's episode is brought to you by Agnosticism

Because you weren't there. This could have happened. If you are an agnostic. 



As I have stated before, I became an agnostic at about 12. This is usually the first step on the path to atheism. It is so refreshing to finally reject something that you are always questioning. There were no answers in Christianity. After so much fear and guilt for even questioning your faith, it's a relief to be able to replace those feelings with common sense and agnosticism.


But why do agnostics stop right there. Do they believe that they cannot go any further in the quest for truth? Do they really not concern themselves with theology? Is their position sound? Are they in fear? What the fuck is wrong with them?

Agnostic (Greek: ἀ- a-, without + γνῶσις gnōsis, knowledge)

Based on the above etymology, the word agnostic means that you don't know shit.  Agnostics hold the position that God is unknown or unknowable. They also think that because God is unknowable, it is not something that you should concern yourself with. There are many categories and sub categories. I am giving the basic outline of these people. If you want to know them all, go somewhere else. Do I look like an encyclopedia?

Click here for the etymology of the word ignorant. See any similarities?


The good thing about agnostics is that they don't hold a particular belief about God. They don't pray or follow any spirituals. They also don't appear to practice anything like a Zombie Jesus. The bad thing is that they might as well believe anything. Since it is all unknowable, a Zombie Jesus is possible. There might be a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Hell, to some agnostics, Genesis could have really happened. The sky's the limit for agnostics.

"I only know that I know nothing"~ Socrates

On the outside, it seems great. You do not know. You say you don't know. Simple enough. Actually, it seems enlightening. Everybody acts like they know what they are talking about. To say that you do not know is the best approach... sometimes.  Good for them.


I love you Agnostics. However, like with everyone I profile on Wednesdays I have to go on the attack. You are all full of shit. It's a pretend game. The worst part is that you pretend like you don't know anything. "Oh I don't know." like a bunch of fucking idiots. I think you are scared to hold a position. You guys are typically smarter than that.Who are you so afraid of agnostics? The big bad Christians being mean to you again? They scare you when they say they hate the atheists so you stick to agnosticism?


NEWS FLASH: Religious people look at all of us the same. We are all hated. They believe that when you die - if you don't follow their beliefs - you will go to hell. If God (especially Christianity)  is true, we are all going to burn in hell.

With everything and everyone else, I call bullshit when I see it. I don't think nonsense has varying degrees. Christianity, Islam, Mormons, and even agnostics are full of shit. No passes will be given this way. None of it makes sense.

If you say you do not know something, that doesn't mean you have to stop right there. If I told you that my penis as 24 inches when flaccid, do I really have to show you? If you know anything about the male human penis, you are all but compelled yo say that I am full of shit. You won't go running around saying "DSD says his dick is two feet long. He hasn't shown me, so I don't know. It's a possibility that he does have a horse penis. After all, he is bla..nevermind."

Highly unlikely. You have half a brain. You can look at the evidence of all the penises in the world, study all the data, and come to a conclusion. If you come to the conclusion that my penis is not 24 inches, you would be correct. It is only half true. Do the math.

My wife is an agnostic. She is going to proofread this post.  In her mind, everything is possible. If you weren't there, you don't know. She thinks that if you cannot disprove something, you have to believe the possibility on some level. Maybe in a court of law, but with most other things, you have some opinion. I think agnostics are lying about their belief, disbelief, and even how much they even think about God and religion. Sorry babe, but I think you are bullshitting me.



On my first or second post I dedicated it to The Incredible Hulk. My wife's favorite response is "It's possible!" When I tell her about all the crazy shit that religious people believe, she responds with that stupid statement. Then I tell her that the Incredible Hulk created the heavens and the earth. She looks at me like I am crazy. She gives me this puzzled look. Why am I talking about "Da Hulk"  dying on the cross or saving me when I was in Iraq. Who is she to look at me and my beliefs like they are unbelievable? It seems more likely that Bruce Banner can do all those things.She responds with science. She explains how science can disprove so much. The Big Bang, Evolution, Physics, Gravity, DNA. All those things are real and provable 1 million times over. There is no reason to believe most things.

Indeed! There is no reason to believe in these things. They have no basis in science or empirical data. It's nothing there. It's too easy to call believers out on their bullshit with science. That is soooo easy. And let's not even get into the contradictions, false historical data or lack thereof. I can barely find my car keys in the morning. Why is it so simple for me to always win in an argument with the smartest theologians? Could it be that they are talking Alice in Wonderland while I am still sticking to Darwin after all these years. You are only helping believers when you say it's no way of knowing. You might as well believe that bin Laden is in cahoots with Lex Luthor. You don't know right?
Which brings me to my point. It's no reason to believe in God. You guys are no different than anyone else. We all ponder belief, religion, God, prayer, and spirituality even if we do think it's bullshit. You guys contemplate why there are wars, the Christian Right, Slavery, faith healing, and everything else that people do in the name of God.


I want to come back to this again. Let's leave it open ended. I will close with a question and a statement.

If you do think that God is unknowable, what do you think God could possibly/probably be?

If you have given God an improbable or impossible response, then you my friend are an atheist.


I would love to hear your thoughts. If I get enough feedback, I will return to this as soon as possible.